Leaving home, coming home

I am now officially back in good ol' St. Cloud, Minnesota, starting a new chapter in my life. It's a bittersweet transition. I'm glad to be home for a year, seeing more of my parents, my grandma and my high school friends. But I already miss my friends down in Kansas. I'm torn, but it's nothing new. It's kind of been that way ever since I left Minnesota to come to KU; it's just that now the roles are reversed.

When left for college I always had it in the back of my mind that I would return to my home state at some point. It wasn't supposed to be a permanent move. But things got very comfortable down in Kansas and I had a lot of fun. A lot of that is due to my roommate Matt, who, until yesterday, I had lived with for eight of the past nine years (we were briefly separated by one life-threatening illness). He definitely kept things interesting — how many guys do you know who would get out of a car and dance to a Neil Diamond song in the middle of a crowded street?

A friend of mine from work once said that Matt and I had an "epic bro-mance." Perhaps that explains why neither of us had much luck with the ladies in recent years (girls, I assure you, my relationship with Matt has always been entirely platonic). Well, our bro-mance will continue, but it will be long-distance for awhile.

Of course Matt's not the only one I left behind in Kansas. There's probably a couple dozen folks that I will miss hanging out with on a regular (or semi-regular) basis, many of whom were at at least one of the three going-away parties that Matt organized for me. But the trade-off is that I get to renew relationships with people up here. On the drive back I stopped and visited Greg Koetter — who has been one of my best friends since about fifth grade — and his wife. When I left their house, instead of saying, "Well, I guess I'll see you in a few months," I was able to say, "Maybe I'll see you this weekend." That was a good feeling.

This post is getting a bit rambling, so I guess I'll just try to get to the point (or figure out the point I've been meaning to make): This was not an easy move. I'm not usually one to second-guess myself once I've made a decision, but during the last few days I started to wonder if I shouldn't just stay in Olathe and collect unemployment checks. Ultimately I still think this is the right choice. I think my Americorps job will be very rewarding and being able to reconnect with my family and old friends up here will give me a whole new set of priceless memories. But, in coming home, I was also leaving a home. And that's kind of a sad feeling.